Blog

One of the standout features of this season was the steady stream of new players who came along to give rugby a go. Whether they were following a friend, inspired by the 6 Nations, or just curious about the sport, it was brilliant to see more girls joining the game. Each arrival brought fresh energy – along with the challenge of quickly getting them up to speed and helping them feel part of the squad.

Bringing new players in mid-season is rarely straightforward. Some turn up unsure if they’ll enjoy it, others full of nerves, and occasionally you get one who’s immediately raring to go. Regardless of where they start, our aim is always the same – to welcome them in, help them build confidence, and find their place in the team.

It means going back to basics again and again. Revisiting things like tackling technique, the laws of the game, and how to set up at a ruck – often while more experienced players are hungry to move on to more complex aspects of the game. Balancing the needs of both groups can be tricky, but one of the approaches that worked really well this year was involving our experienced players in coaching the newer girls. It gave the newer players someone they could learn from and lean on, and it gave our experienced girls a chance to reflect on their own learning and step into leadership. Watching a player patiently explain a technique or encourage a newcomer through her first contact session was one of the most rewarding aspects of coaching this season.

It wasn’t just about the technical side either – the social element mattered just as much. New friendships were forged quickly through small things: shared laughter during warm-ups, post-training chats, or support after a dropped ball. The atmosphere created by the squad was welcoming and open, and that didn’t happen by accident. As coaches, we talked regularly about what it means to be a team and encouraged the girls to embody those values, especially when someone new turned up.

There’s still a long way to go in growing the girls’ game, but this season was another step forward. Seeing new players return week after week – and become part of the group – is a great sign that what we’re building is something worth being part of. The more inclusive and encouraging we are, the more likely we are to keep growing the game for everyone.

Question for reflection: How do you balance developing your experienced players while creating space for new ones to grow?

If I had to pick a moment that shifted everything this season, as odd as it may sound, it would be a game we didn’t win.

We’d fought hard. The team had shown real grit and togetherness. But in the final seconds, the opposition broke through and scored. The whistle blew. The loss stung – not just because of the result, but because of how close we came. You could see it in the girls’ faces: heads down, shoulders dropped, some tears. It was a heartbreak.

But in hindsight, that match was the spark. The players felt what it was like to come together and nearly do something special. They’d pushed a strong team to the edge. And even though the result didn’t go our way, it gave them something to believe in – a glimpse of what might be possible if they kept growing.

At training the following week, there was a different kind of energy. It wasn’t just about trying hard, it was about believing they could get over the line. That shift – from hoping to believing – is hard to measure, but you can feel it.

And then it happened. We got that first win. It wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t need to be. The confidence boost was instant. The players walked taller. They celebrated together. They started to back themselves and each other. Skills we’d been working on for weeks started to click – because now, they believed they could execute them under pressure.

As coaches, we talk about mindset all the time. But this season was a reminder that belief isn’t something you can hand out – it’s something players build, through experiences, setbacks, support and moments of progress. Our job is to help them stay in the game long enough to feel it for themselves.

Watching this group find belief – real, earned belief – has been one of the most rewarding parts of the journey.

Question for reflection:
How do we help young players bounce back from heartbreak and find belief in themselves and their team?

This season brought a new challenge – and a new opportunity – as we combined with another club to form a joint squad. It was a practical solution to numbers, especially in the growing girls’ game, but it came with its own set of questions. How do you take two separate groups and help them become one team?

At the start, the players didn’t know each other. There were different coaching styles, different team cultures, even different ways of warming up. It would’ve been easy for small cliques to form, or for the atmosphere to feel like “us and them.” But what we saw instead, over the weeks and months, was something far more encouraging: players reaching out, connecting, supporting each other. It took time… but it happened.

We worked hard to set the tone early on. As coaches, we made a point of being united – presenting a single, supportive front. We encouraged shared goals, celebrated each other’s successes, and made space for the players to connect as people, not just teammates. Sometimes that meant taking the rugby down a notch to prioritise bonding – chats during water breaks, rotating training groups, and mixing players from both clubs in training sessions. We alternated training locations and match kits to reflect a shared identity, reinforcing that this was one squad, not two teams side by side. There were pizzas after training, a team chant created by the girls themselves, and plenty of moments where friendships took root. At the end of the season, each player voted for a Players’ Player from each club… not to keep things separate, but to ensure they truly saw one another as part of the same team.

There were bumps along the way. Some players found it easier than others to settle into the new dynamic. But by the end of the season, something had shifted. The group felt like one team – celebrating tries together, supporting each other after mistakes, genuinely enjoying each other’s company. That unity didn’t just make us stronger on the pitch – it made the experience richer for everyone involved.

Looking back, one of the most rewarding parts of this season was watching that sense of belonging take shape – not just for the players, but for the parents and coaches too. In a grassroots sport like this, where relationships and community matter just as much as results, that’s no small thing.

Question for reflection:

What helps a group of individuals become a true team… and how can we create more of that?

As a coach, I often remind players to focus on what they can control – their effort, their mindset, their response to setbacks. But if I’m honest, this season has reminded me just how important that message is for me too.

One of the biggest learnings from the year has been the power of how I show up. I can’t control how much energy each player brings to training, how focused they are on a given day, or whether the weather plays nice. But I can control the way I plan a session. I can show up ready to adapt, to encourage, to bring energy even on the tougher days.

That’s not to say it always went smoothly. We’re all human – me, the players, the parents. There were times when things didn’t go to plan. Times when I sensed I was bringing a mood into training that I hadn’t quite shaken off. But that’s the beauty of being human too – the ability to catch ourselves, reset, and take a different tack.

This season, I made a conscious effort to notice when something wasn’t working and to be flexible enough to change direction. If a drill fell flat, I adjusted. If the group seemed a bit flat or distracted, we dialled down intensity and did something fun or competitive to lift the mood. When something did work, I made a point of banking it for future use.

Coaching youth rugby is as much about facilitating a learning environment as it is about teaching the game. That environment is shaped heavily by my presence, how I turn up, how I respond, and how I model behaviours I want the players to adopt.

This reflection has left me with a deeper respect for the ripple effect we have as coaches. When I show up with energy, curiosity, and patience, it usually comes back to me through the players. They mirror it. And when I don’t – well, that shows too.

So, one of the big takeaways for me this year is this: a session doesn’t begin when the whistle blows – it begins with me, long before that.

How are you showing up – not just when the players arrive, but in the quiet moments before that?

The season has officially drawn to a close. All that’s left are the end-of-season celebrations – the kit returns, thank-yous, and a few well-earned beers. It’s always a strange feeling, this pause after the final whistle of the last match. A moment to breathe, to look back, and to quietly ask the question: was it a successful season?

It’s not a straightforward question to answer. As a coach, I find myself looking at it from two angles – how the players experienced it, and how I did. And while I often say, “there’s no failure, just feedback,” the truth is that I wrestle with that idea myself sometimes. I’m only human, after all.

From the players’ perspective, success can look like many things: improved skills, growing confidence, friendships formed, games won, and challenges overcome. For me as a coach, it’s also about what I’ve learned, how I’ve grown, and whether I created the conditions for the girls to enjoy and develop through the game. That dual lens makes the word “success” a bit more layered – and perhaps that’s the point.

One of the most powerful lessons I’ve had to revisit this season is the difference between outcomes and ownership. I can’t control how hard the players work, how quickly they develop, or whether we win matches. But I can control the quality of the sessions, how I show up, the tone I set, and whether I stay open, adaptable, and encouraging – especially when things aren’t going to plan.

And things don’t always go to plan. Some sessions just don’t land. Sometimes we lose games we could have won. There are days when the energy just isn’t there. But being human also means we have the ability to course-correct, reflect, and try something new. Coaching is a living thing – not a fixed system to be followed, but a relationship to be nurtured

So when I ask myself whether this season was a success, the answer is yes – because I’ve seen growth. Not only in the girls’ ability on the pitch, but in their belief, their unity, and their willingness to keep going after tough games. I’ve seen flashes of brilliance, grit in defeat, kindness in how they support one another, and curiosity in how they want to improve.

If there’s one shift I’m holding onto as the season ends, it’s this: success in youth rugby doesn’t have to look like trophies or league tables. It can look like a new player falling in love with the game. A quiet player stepping into leadership. A team bouncing back after a late loss with more determination than ever. And it can look like a coach – still learning – sitting back with a full heart and thinking, we did alright, didn’t we?