patrickhickmancoaching

The Secret to Meetings That Actually Get Things Done

From Waffle to Work: Transforming Meetings into Productivity Powerhouses

Meetings are an integral part of professional life. They can be the birthplace of innovative ideas and strategic decisions, or they can devolve into time-consuming sessions that drain energy and morale. Reflecting on recent experiences, I’ve observed key factors that distinguish productive meetings from unproductive ones.

1. Define Clear Objectives

A meeting without a clear purpose is like setting sail without a destination. It’s essential to establish and communicate the meeting’s objectives beforehand. This clarity ensures that all participants are aligned and can contribute meaningfully. When discussions veer off course, referring back to the primary goal helps realign the conversation.

2. Set and Adhere to an Agenda

An agenda serves as a roadmap for the meeting. It outlines the topics to be covered and allocates time for each. Distributing the agenda in advance allows attendees to prepare adequately. Meetings without agendas often meander, leading to frustration and wasted time. If you find yourself in a meeting lacking direction, it’s reasonable to question its purpose and, if appropriate, excuse yourself to focus on other tasks.

3. Manage Emotional Dynamics

Emotions can run high during discussions, especially on contentious topics. While passion indicates engagement, unchecked emotions can cloud judgement and derail conversations. It’s crucial to foster an environment where participants feel heard but also encouraged to maintain professionalism. Techniques such as active listening and taking brief pauses before responding can help manage emotional responses.

4. Recognise the Value of Relationship-Building

Not all meetings are strictly task-oriented. Some serve to build rapport among team members, understand each other’s roles, and lay the groundwork for future collaborations. These sessions are valuable as they enhance team cohesion and trust, which are vital for long-term success.

5. Address Off-Topic Issues Appropriately

It’s common for unrelated issues to surface during meetings. Instead of allowing these to sidetrack the discussion, acknowledge them and suggest addressing them at a more suitable time. This approach ensures that all concerns are noted without compromising the meeting’s focus.

6. Communicate Clearly and Seek Clarification

Ambiguity can lead to misunderstandings and misaligned actions. Strive to articulate your points clearly. If you’re on the receiving end of unclear information, don’t hesitate to ask clarifying questions. Effective communication is a two-way street, and ensuring mutual understanding is paramount.

7. Capture Actions to Ensure Follow-Through

A meeting without clear actions at the end is just a discussion. To make sure things actually get done:

Summarise Key Decisions and Next Steps – Before wrapping up, recap what has been agreed upon.
Assign Responsibilities – Make it clear who is responsible for each action point.
Set Deadlines – Even the best ideas will stall without a timeframe for completion.
Follow Up – Whether it’s an email summary, a shared document, or a check-in at the next meeting, ensure there’s accountability.

8. Focus on Controllable Factors

Post-meeting reflections can sometimes lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, especially if outcomes aren’t as expected. It’s beneficial to concentrate on aspects within your control – your preparation, participation, and follow-through. Recognise that not all variables are controllable, and sometimes, strategic concessions are necessary.

In conclusion, transforming meetings from unproductive to productive requires intentional planning, emotional intelligence, and clear communication. By implementing these strategies, we can ensure that our meetings serve their intended purpose and contribute positively to our organisational goals.

The Awkward Art of Starting

What Blowing a Whistle Taught Me About Learning

There’s a well-worn saying: you can only learn to ride a bicycle by riding a bicycle. Anne Lamott, the American author and writing teacher, used this phrase when speaking about learning and creativity — but really, it applies to just about everything worth doing. The idea is simple, but easy to forget: imagining how something will feel, or watching others do it, will only take you so far. To truly understand, you have to get on the bike. You have to wobble, pedal, crash, get up, and try again.

This became especially clear to me recently when my daughter enrolled on an introduction to rugby refereeing course. Like most new referees, the first thing they were handed wasn’t a law book or a PowerPoint — it was a whistle. And they weren’t just told how to use it; they were asked to demonstrate the variety of tones and volumes a referee might use during a match.

And where did all this happen? Not safely hidden indoors, but outside on the pitch, in front of one another — adding an extra layer of nerves. What followed was entertaining, to say the least. The group, a mix of young people and adults, stood awkwardly clutching their shiny new whistles. One by one, they gave it a go. Some whistles barely squeaked, others pierced the cold air unexpectedly. Some participants turned red with embarrassment, others giggled nervously, and a few found surprising confidence in their first blast. It was delightful, slightly chaotic, and utterly human.

What struck me most wasn’t just the comedy of it, but the deeper metaphor playing out before me. None of these budding referees could learn to referee simply by reading the law book or watching rugby on TV. They had to blow the whistle themselves — and, crucially, get it wrong before they got it right.

The Gap Between Imagining and Doing

So much of learning works this way. There is always a gap between imagining and doing. We think we understand what something will be like, but the reality is rarely how we picture it. Before blowing a whistle on a pitch surrounded by others, the act may seem straightforward — how hard can it be? But when you’re standing there, needing to produce the right sound with the right energy, self-consciousness and uncertainty creep in. The muscles don’t work the way you expect. The sound isn’t quite what you intended.

In life, we often hesitate at the edge of trying something new because of this very gap. We prefer the safety of theory. We read about it, plan it, and imagine ourselves doing it well. But until we step in and have a go, the learning can’t begin.

And here’s the important bit: the first tries are often messy, awkward, or even a little bit embarrassing. Just like those tentative whistles. Just like the wobbly first pedal strokes when you first learned to ride a bike.

The Courage to Be Awkward

Watching my daughter and the other participants fumble through their first whistle blows reminded me that learning is, by nature, an act of vulnerability. To begin anything new is to risk getting it wrong, sometimes publicly. Yet this is the only way forward.

How often do we hold back from learning new skills or pursuing new opportunities simply because we don’t want to be seen wobbling? We convince ourselves we need to read just one more book, take one more course, or prepare just a little bit longer. Preparation has its place, of course, but eventually, you have to blow the whistle.

Whether it’s public speaking, starting a new job, coaching for the first time, parenting, or any number of life’s challenges, the principle is the same. The theory and preparation give you a framework, but the real learning only starts when you step in, and likely, when you mess up a little.

Life is Full of First Whistles

Life is packed with ‘first whistles’ — moments when we have to find the courage to try, without knowing exactly how it will go. We all have them, whether we’re children or adults. And just like on the refereeing course, the first attempts may feel awkward, tentative, or hilarious.

But here’s the beauty of it: with each try, confidence grows. The second whistle is a little stronger. The third starts to sound like the referees we’ve all heard on a Saturday afternoon. Before long, what once felt unnatural becomes second nature.

Anne Lamott was right. You can only learn to ride a bicycle by riding a bicycle. Likewise, you can only learn to referee by refereeing — and yes, by blowing the whistle. You can only learn to live fully by living, mistakes and all.

So, whatever your whistle looks like — a new skill, a fresh challenge, or a long-held dream — I hope you’ll find the courage to give it that first, tentative blow. It might not sound perfect the first time, but that’s exactly how learning works.

Listening, Learning, and the Power of Openness in a World of Differences

In today’s world, we are witnessing increasing levels of polarisation. Discussions that once allowed for nuance and exploration of different viewpoints now seem to be framed in stark black-and-white terms. In reality, life is filled with shades of grey. Yet, more often than not, we find ourselves feeling pressured to pick a side – either with “us” or with “them.” Engaging with an opposing viewpoint can sometimes lead to being labelled as belonging to the “other” camp rather than simply being open to dialogue.

This growing divide is evident across many aspects of life, from politics to social issues, and even personal values. We see it in the way conversations unfold online, where people quickly take sides and debate turns into a battle rather than an exchange of ideas. In all walks of life, we will encounter people whose views align with ours, but we will also meet individuals whose perspectives challenge us – sometimes uncomfortably so. When faced with opposing views, the natural response is often resistance or dismissal. But if we want to grow and evolve, we must learn to engage with perspectives that differ from our own.

The Power of Listening Without Judgement

There is an old saying that we don’t learn much from talking, but rather from listening. However, if we only listen to opinions that mirror our own, are we really learning at all? True understanding doesn’t require agreement, but it does require openness. If we approach conversations with curiosity instead of defensiveness, we create space for dialogue rather than division.

This is easier said than done. It’s human nature to seek out what feels comfortable and familiar. We are drawn to opinions that affirm our own because they provide a sense of certainty and validation. Yet, growth doesn’t come from simply reinforcing our beliefs – it comes from challenging them. The most meaningful learning experiences often arise when we are forced to reconsider something we once thought was absolute.

A major challenge in today’s climate is that even quoting a leader or figure from a particular political party can be enough to brand someone as being in a specific ideological camp. The world has become more entrenched in ideological silos, reinforced by social media algorithms that feed us content we already agree with. These echo chambers create an illusion that our view is the dominant one, making differing perspectives feel more foreign – and often more threatening – than they actually are.

The Illusion of a Single Reality

At its core, how we perceive the world is shaped entirely by our own experiences and interpretations. No two people see the world in exactly the same way because each of us filters reality through our unique lens. Everything we believe, understand, and feel is influenced by our background, upbringing, and personal experiences. This means that what seems like an absolute truth to one person might look entirely different to someone else.

When we acknowledge that our reality is internally created, we become more open to the fact that others are experiencing life through a different lens. Instead of immediately dismissing their views, we can seek to understand what led them to think the way they do. This doesn’t mean we have to accept or agree with everything we hear, but it does allow for more meaningful and constructive interactions.

The Cost of Closing Ourselves Off

One of the greatest losses in a polarised world is the erosion of meaningful conversations. If we shut down every time we hear something we disagree with, we shrink our world rather than expand it. Instead of engaging in discussion, we retreat into our own ideological corners, reinforcing our beliefs while dismissing anything that challenges them.

This has real-world consequences. In a society where people are unwilling to listen to one another, divisions deepen, and progress stalls. When discussion becomes impossible, so does understanding. We see this happening in politics, in workplaces, and even in families. When people stop talking and start assuming the worst about “the other side,” we lose the ability to find common ground.

Beyond the societal impact, there is also a personal cost to closing ourselves off. If all we do is engage with ideas we already agree with, we limit our own intellectual and emotional growth. The world is made up of a rich tapestry of people from all walks of life, and to truly get the best out of life, we owe it to ourselves to remain open – especially when faced with those who see things differently.

How to Stay Open in a Divided World

So how do we move beyond polarisation and cultivate a mindset of openness? Here are a few steps to consider:

Listen with the intent to understand, not to respond. Too often, we engage in conversations waiting for our turn to speak rather than truly listening. Make a conscious effort to hear what the other person is saying without immediately formulating a counterargument.
Ask questions instead of making assumptions. Instead of assuming you know why someone believes what they do, ask them about their experiences. Understanding their background can provide valuable insight into their perspective.
Challenge your own biases. Everyone has biases, but self-awareness can help us recognise when they are influencing our judgement. Make a habit of questioning your own assumptions and seeking out diverse perspectives.
Expose yourself to different viewpoints. Read books, listen to podcasts, and follow people with differing opinions. The more you engage with a variety of perspectives, the less threatening they become.
Accept that disagreement doesn’t mean conflict. It’s possible to disagree with someone while still respecting them. Not every conversation needs to result in consensus—sometimes, the value is simply in the exchange of ideas.

Embracing the Grey Areas

The world is not simply a collection of opposing sides, but rather a complex and dynamic blend of perspectives. To truly make the most of life, we owe it to ourselves to stay open, especially when faced with those who see things differently. The ability to engage with ideas outside our comfort zone doesn’t weaken our own beliefs – it strengthens our understanding of them.

Polarisation may be the current reality, but it doesn’t have to be the future. The more we listen, the more we learn – and the more we learn, the more we grow.

Rugby in the Snow — How Freezing Weather Sparked Fiery Determination

Last week, I ran a training session at my rugby club in what can only be described as near-arctic conditions. The weather wasn’t quite cold enough to freeze the ground, but there was snow in the air and a biting chill that seemed to seep straight into the bones. I had to layer up with two pairs of socks just to keep my toes from going numb. I’ll admit, I went into the session with some trepidation. The conditions were hardly inviting, and I was expecting complaints, frozen fingers fumbling passes, and a general reluctance to move.

But what unfolded completely defied my expectations. It turned out to be one of the best training sessions our girls have ever had. They were fully focused, brimming with energy, and attacking tackles and rucks with a vigour that could have melted the snow around them. It was one of those moments as a coach that leaves you both proud and reflective – wondering why, against all odds, it had gone so well.

The Challenges of Training in Freezing Conditions

I’ve trained in freezing weather before, and I know how difficult it can be. Frozen fingers struggle to catch the ball, running in the cold burns the lungs, and standing still for even a moment lets the chill creep in. It’s not just physically tough – mentally, the cold can sap focus and enthusiasm if you let it. For players, and even for coaches, it can feel like a battle against the elements.

Knowing this, I approached the session with a plan to keep everyone as active as possible. We kept the games moving quickly, with minimal downtime between activities, so no one was left standing around too long. Even us coaches joined in with parts of the warm-up – anything to keep our bodies moving and stave off the cold.

Still, I was prepared for the usual challenges that come with training in these conditions. What I hadn’t prepared for, though, was how the snow itself would transform the session.

The Magic of Snow

As the session unfolded, it became clear that the snow was having an unexpected impact. Rather than being a hindrance, it became a source of energy and excitement. Playing rugby in the snow was a novel experience for all of us, coaches included. It was something different, something fun. The snow became a distraction from the cold, shifting the players’ focus away from the discomfort of the freezing weather.

Instead of thinking about their frozen fingers or stinging lungs, the girls were fully immersed in the moment – enjoying the snow, the movement, and the camaraderie with their teammates. It was as if their minds had found a way to override the physical discomfort, and in doing so, they unlocked a level of focus and energy that surprised us all.

A Lesson in Mindset

After the session, I couldn’t help but reflect on why it had gone so well. I shared my thoughts with my coach, and we came to the same conclusion – it was all down to mindset. The snow had created a shift in perspective. It turned what could have been a miserable, cold training session into something different and exciting. When the players’ minds were no longer preoccupied with the cold, they were free to focus on the game.

As my coach pointed out, one’s state of mind can overcome even the harshest conditions. Out there in the freezing weather, the players weren’t thinking about how bitterly cold it was. Their minds were on the rugby – keeping moving, staying active, and enjoying the unique experience of playing in the snow with their friends. That was the state of mind they were in, and because of it, the weather didn’t stand a chance.

It was a powerful reminder of how much our mental state influences our experience. When we focus on what we’re doing – on the joy, the challenge, or the camaraderie – we can push through discomfort and even thrive in conditions that might otherwise hold us back.

Lessons for Rugby and Beyond

This experience highlighted something that goes far beyond rugby. Whether we’re dealing with freezing weather, a tough match, or challenges in everyday life, our mindset plays a crucial role in how we respond. By shifting our focus away from what’s uncomfortable and towards what’s engaging or meaningful, we can transform our experience.

For me, this session reinforced the importance of creating the right environment as a coach. It’s not just about running drills or teaching technique – it’s about helping players find the joy and focus that allows them to give their best, no matter the circumstances. Sometimes, that means embracing the unexpected – like snow – and finding ways to turn it into an advantage.

Staying Active in Challenging Conditions

If you’re a coach or a parent reading this, you might be wondering how to replicate this kind of success in your own sessions. Here are a few tips I’ve found helpful for keeping players engaged and energised in challenging conditions:

Keep it Moving – Minimise downtime between activities to keep everyone warm and engaged. The less time spent standing still, the better.
Embrace Novelty – Use unexpected conditions, like snow, as an opportunity to try something new or different. Novelty can be a powerful motivator.
Focus on Fun – When players are enjoying themselves, they’re less likely to dwell on discomfort. Create an environment where fun and teamwork take centre stage.
Encourage a Positive Mindset – Help players focus on what they can control and what they enjoy about the game, rather than what might be challenging or uncomfortable.

A Call to Action

If you’re looking to bring this kind of energy and mindset to your own coaching or parenting journey, I’d love to help. My book, Mud, Tries, and Tantrums: Raising Happy Rugby Players, is packed with insights and practical tips for supporting young players on and off the field. Although it’s written from a rugby perspective, the lessons and strategies are just as applicable to any sport – and to life in general. Whether you’re a coach, a parent, or both, it’s a resource to help you create an environment where players can thrive, no matter the conditions.

You can pick up a copy on Amazon in paperback or Kindle format – and if you do, please leave a review. Your feedback helps spread the word and supports other parents and coaches who want to make a difference in young players’ lives.

If you’re interested in working with me directly, feel free to reach out. Whether you’re looking to achieve your goals, overcome challenges, or build resilience in the face of adversity, I’m here to help. Together, we can develop strategies that energise, focus, and inspire you to perform at your best in all areas of life.

Getting from A to B: Overcoming the Daunting Gap

We’ve all been there. You set a big, ambitious goal that lights you up inside, but when it’s time to take action, point B feels so far away that you’re paralysed at point A. Yesterday, during a coaching call, I shared my own trepidation about some of the big goals I’ve set for myself, and the conversation uncovered a perspective that I want to share with you.

The truth is, getting from A to B is rarely, if ever, a straight line. Life doesn’t work that way. Obstacles, detours, and unexpected challenges are part of the journey. But none of that matters if you adopt a mindset of progress over perfection.

During the call, my coach reminded me of a quote often attributed to General Norman Schwarzkopf: “Plans are useless, but planning is essential.” The message? While no plan will ever unfold exactly as envisioned, the act of planning prepares you to adapt and take action. The only thing you truly need to do to move forward is to identify the best next step and take it.

Big goals often feel overwhelming because we focus too much on the vast distance between where we are and where we want to be. Instead, we need to narrow our focus to the next actionable step. When you’ve taken that step, identify the next one – and then the next. Progress happens one step at a time.

Consistency is the secret weapon here. Small, consistent actions compound over time to create significant results. Think of it this way: if you never leave point A, you’ll never reach point B. But each small step moves you closer to your goal and builds the momentum you need to keep going.

Taking stock of your progress at regular intervals is equally important. Pausing to reflect allows you to course correct, celebrate how far you’ve come, and re-align with your ultimate destination. It’s not about perfection; it’s about persistence.

This approach also works wonders when dealing with “writer’s block” or “analysis paralysis.” Both are rooted in fear – fear of getting it wrong, fear of imperfection, or fear of failure. But remember, inaction guarantees you’ll stay stuck. Moving forward, even imperfectly, is always better than standing still.

So as we step into 2025, let’s embrace the messiness of the journey. Let’s identify our big, bold goals, acknowledge the challenges ahead, and commit to action. Start by asking yourself: what is the best next step I can take today? Then take it.

Here’s to making 2025 our best year yet – for you and for me!