Author: patrickhickmancoaching

There’s a patch at the bottom of our garden that’s been quietly taunting me for weeks. Brambles, knee-high grasses, and all the usual suspects of garden neglect had taken over. I kept looking at it, promising myself I’d tackle it “this weekend” – and then putting it off again. The job felt too big, too time-consuming, too something.

I bet you’ve had a similar experience. A task that looms large in your mind, growing more intimidating the longer it’s left. It might be a work project, a bit of DIY, or even just that email you’ve been avoiding. We talk ourselves out of starting because we convince ourselves we won’t have the time, energy, or motivation to finish. But here’s the thing: once we start, the rest usually follows.

Starting is the hard part

Yesterday, I finally decided to stop overthinking and just begin. I didn’t set out to finish the whole thing – that felt too ambitious. I simply committed to making a dent in it. The sky looked like rain, which was the perfect excuse to expect interruptions. So I lowered my expectations, grabbed my gloves, plugged into a podcast, and got going.

And something shifted.

Once I was in motion, momentum took over. It was easier to keep going than it had been to begin. I wasn’t thinking about how much was left or how I’d rather be doing something else. I was in it – and before I knew it, the job was done. Not just a dent, but all of it. Rain arrived, but only once I’d finished. Brambles were cleared. And that looming task? Gone.

Why we avoid starting

Avoidance isn’t laziness. It’s often rooted in perfectionism, fear of failure, or the belief that we won’t have the time to finish properly. We want to wait until we have a clear stretch, the right tools, or just feel more “ready.” But more often than not, that moment doesn’t arrive. So the task sits there, quietly growing heavier on our minds.

Reframing the task

A useful shift in mindset is this: don’t aim to finish, aim to start. That simple reframe relieves the pressure. By committing to ten minutes or one small section, you’re lowering the barrier to action. And once you’re moving, you may find, like I did, that momentum carries you further than expected.

Tactics that help:

• Break it down: Instead of “clear the garden,” try “spend 15 minutes trimming brambles.”
• Pair it with pleasure: A podcast, music, or cup of tea can turn it into something enjoyable.
• Lower the bar: Starting with a small win can trigger a domino effect.
• Acknowledge the resistance: Name the hesitation, but don’t let it drive the bus.

From garden to life

It might have just been a garden, but the principle applies everywhere. Whether it’s that email, a difficult conversation, or your next big idea, progress starts the same way: with a single step. We don’t need to know how it ends, we just need to begin.

Final thoughts

So if there’s something you’ve been avoiding, try this: don’t aim to finish it, just start it. Do the smallest, easiest version of the task. Make it so simple you can’t talk yourself out of it. And then see what happens.

Chances are, the only hard part is getting started.

The Magic Behind the Curtain

This morning, while making coffee, getting ready for the day, I popped my headphones on and hit shuffle on Spotify. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular – just something to accompany the clink of the spoon in my mug. And then, out of the blue, Queen’s I Want It All came on.

It wasn’t what I’d planned to listen to, but I let it play. The song dragged me straight back to my teenage years. On a whim, I tapped ‘Go to Album’ – and that’s when I stumbled into something unexpected. A treasure trove of original takes from Queen’s The Miracle. Familiar songs, yes – but not quite the versions we all know. The lyrics were different. The tone was raw. Some takes felt unfinished, experimental, even uncertain.

And yet, I was captivated.

The Rough Takes We Rarely See

We often encounter creativity in its final, polished form. The chart-topping single, the bestselling novel, the sleek product in a shop window. What we don’t often see is the messy middle – the false starts, the rewrites, the discarded drafts, the awkward riffs that never made it past rehearsal.

Listening to Queen’s early takes was like sneaking a look behind the curtain. These were the rough beginnings of songs that would eventually become iconic. Hearing them in this raw state didn’t diminish their brilliance – it enhanced it. It made me appreciate the journey it takes to create something worthwhile.

It made me wonder: how many great ideas are abandoned because they didn’t come out “right” the first time?

One and Done? Not Likely.

We live in a culture that celebrates the highlight reel. Success stories are told in reverse – from the mountaintop down. Rarely do we hear about the scrambles, slips, and backtracks along the way.

And yet, creativity – real creativity – is rarely a one-and-done experience.

Whether it’s a song, a business idea, a painting, or a blog post, the first version is almost never the final version. The process is iterative. You begin with a spark, however small. You test. You tweak. You fail. You learn. You keep going.

Think of any creative process like sculpting. The masterpiece starts as a lump of clay. The form takes shape only through patient chipping, smoothing, and reworking.

Embracing the Process (and the Bins Along the Way)

Let’s be honest: facing a rough draft can be disheartening. It’s tempting to bin it, to say it’s not good enough, that you’re not good enough. But maybe that messy beginning is exactly what you need. It’s not a sign of failure, it’s a sign that you’ve started.

And starting is everything.

From there, the real work begins. Not glamorous, not always fun, but essential. You listen back, read through, assess. You keep the good. You refine the rest. You bin what doesn’t serve the vision. And you repeat.

Every artist has their ‘bins’, literal or metaphorical, full of unused verses, scrapped canvases, or sidelined ideas. But those abandoned parts weren’t wasted. They were stepping stones. They taught the artist what didn’t work so they could better uncover what did.

Keep Moving: Progress Over Perfection

The two most important steps in any creative journey are deceptively simple: start, and keep going.

Perfection is seductive. It whispers that unless something is flawless, it’s not worth finishing. But perfection isn’t the goal, progress is. Growth is. Discovery is.

There’s power in continuing. Power in showing up again, tweaking the chorus, rephrasing the sentence, redrawing the sketch. The more you create, the more you learn. And the more you learn, the closer you get to that final, polished version, the one the world might eventually admire.

Conclusion: Your Version of a Masterpiece

So here’s the question: what are you working on? What idea have you sidelined because the first take didn’t land? What draft lies forgotten in a folder somewhere?

Dust it off. Have another look. And if it’s still not quite right? That’s okay. Keep going.

Creativity isn’t about brilliance on the first try. It’s about the courage to begin, and the grit to keep refining. That Queen album reminded me of something powerful, that even the greatest start rough. The final masterpiece is the reward of patience, persistence, and belief.

Whatever you’re creating, keep moving forward. The world might not see your early takes. But they’ll feel the heart you put into the finished piece.

There’s something about a bright spring afternoon in the countryside that has a way of quieting the mind – if we let it.

This last weekend, our family took a trip to Winkworth Arboretum in the Surrey Hills. It was one of those unexpectedly perfect days – mild, sunny, and serene. The kind of day that invites you to breathe a little deeper, slow your pace, and tune into the world around you.

At one point, lying back on the grass and looking up at the sky, I wasn’t thinking of anything in particular, I was just… there. It felt calm, quiet, peaceful. Then – just like that – I thought about the drive home. Roadworks. Diversions. Traffic. And suddenly that peaceful state evaporated. My shoulders tensed. My brain whirred. The contrast was startling. Nothing had physically changed – I was still lying there under the same blue sky – but internally, it felt like a different world.

“Now Is All That Exists”

That shift brought to mind something I’d heard Dr Bill Pettit say in a recent webinar: “Now is all that exists.”

It’s a phrase I’ve heard in many guises over the years, often dismissed as a nice idea – uplifting but not all that practical. But recently, it’s started to resonate more deeply. Especially as I explore the link between thought and experience, and how our internal dialogue shapes the world we perceive.

What was creating that sense of calm on the one hand, and the feeling of dread a moment later? As Jamie Smart puts it in Clarity, our feelings come from thought taking form in the moment — not from our circumstances. When I was absorbed in the blue sky, the birdsong, and the rustle of the leaves, I was present, and all was calm. The moment my thoughts jumped ahead to potential traffic, the frustration crept in. But it wasn’t the traffic — it hadn’t even happened yet. It was just my thinking in that moment, doing what thinking does.

We Live in the Feeling of Our Thinking

This is an easy truth to overlook, especially when life gets busy. We blame the traffic, the looming deadlines, the difficult conversation we had last week. But if we stop and look a little closer, we realise: stress isn’t coming from the outside. It’s coming from inside – from the way we’re thinking about what’s outside.

That afternoon, when I stayed rooted in the present – the sounds of the birds, the feel of the grass, the laughter of my daughters – there was nothing to fix, nothing to worry about. Just life, unfolding as it does, one breath at a time.

Focus on the Next Step, Not the Whole Hill

Later that day, I followed my youngest daughter down a steep path. As we descended, I was acutely aware of one thing: we’d have to walk back up. Given my current level of fitness (a work-in-progress, let’s say), I knew that was going to be a challenge.

But as we made our way up again, I instinctively returned to an old habit from my cycling days: keep your eyes just ahead, and focus on the next few metres. Don’t stare at the top. While the summit can feel overwhelming, the next step rarely does.

That mindset carried me through. The climb was still tough, but it was also energising. I could feel my legs working, my heart pumping, my breath quickening – but I was in it. And with each step, I felt more alive.

The Present Moment Is Where Life Happens

Whether it’s climbing a hill or facing the everyday demands of modern life, the present moment is our anchor. The past is done. The future is imagined. All we truly have is now. And yet we spend so much of our time outside of it.

There’s an old saying: “Worrying is like a rocking chair – it gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere.”

That rings true. Worry might feel like preparation or control, but it’s usually just mental noise that keeps us from fully engaging with life as it is, not as we fear it might become.

Conclusion: The Gift of Being Here

That afternoon in the Surrey Hills was a quiet reminder of something powerful: life happens in moments, not plans. We don’t need to eliminate thought, or control it – but recognising when we’re getting caught in imagined futures or recycled pasts can help us gently return to the here and now.

So whether you’re lying under a wide blue sky or stuck in traffic (real or imagined), notice where your attention is. Can you come back to your breath? To the next step? To what’s directly in front of you?

Because now really is all that exists – and it might just be more peaceful than you think.

The other day I was chatting with my coach, reflecting on the progress I’ve seen in both my clients and the young rugby players I coach. It got us talking about what really drives that progress – what’s the “magic sauce” that helps people move forward? The answer we kept circling back to wasn’t a clever tactic or a bulletproof plan. It was something quieter, more subtle – and far more powerful. It was realisation. The kind that comes from within.

The Moment the Fog Lifts

In coaching conversations, people often arrive with something they want to fix or figure out. Together we talk it through, exploring different angles… and sometimes, in the space between sentences, there’s a shift. A penny drops. Something clicks. Not because of something I’ve said – but because they’ve seen something for themselves.

I’ve experienced this on the other side, too. When my coach reflects back to me something I’ve said, I sometimes hear it differently, almost like it’s something outside of me that’s caused it – but the power of it lies in the fact that I’ve realised it for myself. That moment of clarity doesn’t come from advice. It comes from within, and once it lands, everything changes.

Why Insight Beats Instruction

This same principle shows up every week on the rugby field. I can teach a player a technique – how to pass more accurately, how to stay safe in the tackle – but in the middle of a game, it’s down to them.

They need to try, fail, learn, and reflect. That reflection might come from a question like “What did you notice when you tried that?” – and that’s where the real learning happens.

Some call this “tacit” coaching versus “explicit” coaching. Explicit coaching gives the answer. Tacit coaching helps someone find their own. And when they do, the understanding runs deeper. It’s more likely to show up when it counts – under pressure, in a moment of uncertainty, or when the stakes are high.

From ‘I Can’t’ to ‘I Just Did’

Just yesterday at rugby training, we played a game designed to get everyone kicking and catching. One player said, “I can’t kick the ball.” Moments later, after a bit of encouragement, she kicked it.

Did it go perfectly? Of course not – it was one of her first tries. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that she kicked it. And when I pointed that out, “You said you can’t kick the ball, but you just did…” you could see the realisation land.

Moments like this are the heartbeat of my work with both my coaching clients and my rugby team. Creating space for people to see that they can, to realise that what they thought was out of reach is already within them.

Belief Follows Evidence

Realisation is the starting point. But once someone experiences success, no matter how small, they start to believe. And that belief is everything.

Whether it’s a player trying a new skill or a client working through a challenge, if they keep showing up, keep reflecting, keep seeking… they will move forward. Often without even noticing at first. Then one day, they’ll look back and see how far they’ve come – not because someone told them what to do, but because they uncovered it for themselves.

Conclusion

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the most transformative shifts don’t come from being told, they come from being seen. As coaches, parents, mentors or leaders, our role isn’t to hand over answers, but to hold up the mirror, ask the right questions, and trust that the people we support already hold the key.

Progress may look different for everyone, but it almost always starts with the same spark: realisation. And once that spark is lit, the momentum becomes unstoppable.

If you’re curious about what you might discover for yourself, and you’d like to explore coaching, let’s talk.

You’re more capable than you realise — here’s why resilience is already within you.

We’re living in a world that’s changing faster than most of us can keep up with. News feeds are filled with conflict, uncertainty, and stress. It’s not surprising that resilience has become a bit of a buzzword — often talked about as something we need to acquire or develop.

But what if we’ve got it the wrong way around?

What if resilience isn’t something you build from the outside in… but something you reconnect with from the inside out?

Resilience Is Already in You

As human beings, we are incredibly adaptable. Just think about the sheer range of situations people have lived through — from global pandemics to personal loss, from job upheavals to parenting challenges. There are people who have not just survived but grown stronger through it all.

Dr John Demartini describes resilience as “the ability to adapt to a changing environment.” That environment might be external — like job changes or health scares — or internal, like anxiety or self-doubt. Either way, the ability to adapt doesn’t come from training ourselves to be tough. It comes from remembering that we already are.

You don’t have to ‘get’ resilience. You already have it.

The World Might Be Loud — But Clarity Is Still Available

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by everything going on around us. Doomscrolling has become a daily ritual for many — and it can genuinely start to feel like the world is permanently in crisis mode.

But even in the noise, clarity is available. That moment when the mind settles, the fog lifts, and you know what to do next — that’s not something you had to force. It’s what naturally emerges when we’re not caught up in frantic thought.

As coach and author Jamie Smart puts it, we are “built for reality.” Life can be uncertain, messy, and painful. But we don’t need to control everything out there to be okay in here.

Resilience Is Not the Absence of Struggle

Sometimes we mistake resilience for being unaffected — as if the truly strong people are the ones who never wobble. But that’s not real life.

Resilience isn’t about feeling amazing all the time or never having a bad day. It’s about the capacity to return to centre. To regroup. To navigate discomfort without becoming defined by it.

Feeling stressed or emotional doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. And the bounce-back — the ability to keep going, to learn, to find humour or hope or grace — that’s resilience in action.

Trusting the System Within

We often look outside ourselves for reassurance — to people, routines, plans. And while those can all be helpful, the deeper safety comes from knowing that you have what it takes, even when plans change and the path gets rocky.

Just like the body knows how to heal a cut without you consciously doing anything, the mind has a built-in capacity to stabilise. When you’re not piling on judgement or panic, you return to a calmer, clearer state far more naturally than you might think.

That’s the system working as it was designed to.

Final Thoughts: You’re Built for This

The world may feel heavy at times. The pace of change may be relentless. But in the face of all of that, you’re still here. Still showing up. Still capable.

Resilience isn’t something reserved for a special few. It’s not about brute force or positive thinking. It’s about rediscovering what’s always been in you — your ability to adapt, respond, and keep moving, no matter what life brings.

You’re hardwired to handle it.