patrickhickmancoaching

How is your year going?

I hope 2023 has started well for you and that you are already making some good progress on your goals!

Sadly, research has found that by now the majority of people will have wavered on any new year resolutions they may have set themselves. A small percentage of people, this same research shows, are still high in motivation and still taking action. Which camp are you in?

This year I am determined to push through and achieve some lofty goals and make 2023 a huge year, I hope you are too!

If you are one of those who is struggling to keep up the momentum you started the year with and “life has started to take over”, fear not, there is still time to get that energy and focus back.

There are many reasons why we may falter so soon after setting goals or new year resolutions, some of them being: setting unrealistic resolutions / goals, lack of planning, or absence of accountability.

So, if you find yourself struggling to stick to your resolutions or find that you are struggling to make progress on your goals, what can you do?

Another reason why we may not achieve what we set our sights on may be that we fall prey to limiting beliefs, you know, that little voice inside that nags at us, we question ourselves, we shy away from doing something we really want to do… that’s a limiting belief. Left unchallenged and unchanged these limiting beliefs can severely disrupt the achievement of our dreams (if not kill them off). So what can we do?

To paraphrase Tony Robbins, “the quality of our life is determined by the quality of the questions we ask ourselves.” Often we limit ourselves by asking limiting questions or making limiting statements rather than pushing ourselves to find creative solutions to our challenges.

“Why does this always happen to me?”
“I don’t know how to do this”
“I will look like a fool and everyone will laugh at me”

Through working with my clients, I have often found that a certain type of question has helped them unlock some of their most creative approaches or helped them overcome some of the obstacles that had held them back. What’s this type of question? It’s the “What if…?” question – some examples of which are:

What if I couldn’t fail?
What if money was no object?
What if I knew the answer, what would it be?
What if I could wave a magic wand and I had achieved xyz… What steps would I have taken?

Asking ourselves these empowering questions suspends our conscious thinking and allow us to think creatively, without limits. Some of the best approaches can be found in this way. So if you find yourself struggling to make progress against your goals give this a try and let me know how you get on.

To your success in 2023!

Feedback or failure?

A while ago I saw a part of a Dragons Den episode. I didn’t see the full pitch and I only caught the end of the interaction between a couple seeking investment and the Dragons. What I did see was the Dragons all declining to invest but also giving lots of advice and direction to the couple. As the pair left the den the Dragons all wished them well with their business – the couple appeared to have been very well received, but they had left the den “empty handed”… or had they?

One can look at it that way… if all one sought was investment and a Dragon or two to expand one’s business. To their credit the two investment-seekers walked out with their spirits soaring where others might have been deeply disappointed. How could this be?

Unlike many of those I’ve seen come into “the den” they had not seen this as merely an chance to walk away with a dragon on their team and some investment. No, they had seen this as huge opportunity to have a panel of multi-millionaire business people take a close look at their offering and their business plans, and give them invaluable advice on how to make it better. Yes, investment would have been the first prize, but they chose to see the process as one where they could learn and improve… they could not lose.

It reminded me of the saying that goes something like, “there is no such thing as failure, you either win or you learn.” I haven’t always looked at life like this. Too many times I have taken what other people have said to heart, or I’ve let myself believe that I wasn’t good enough, and let it stop me from moving forward

Then I came across the world of coaching and personal development. This opened my eyes to the fact that it is possible to change the way I think and behave, even if I’d been limiting myself for so many years. After years of behaving in the same way it takes a lot of work and constant focus to change these habits, but it is possible.

You either win or you learn. Therefore, every “loss” has in it the seed of a lesson. It may not be obvious at the time but with time and reflection it is often possible to find it.

I’m not done yet, I don’t believe anybody ever is. What I do know though is I’m still going and I won’t stop…

How did this happen…?

Welcome to my very first blog post, something I have always wanted to do, but…

Why has it taken so long? Was there something holding me back? If there was, what could it be? Was it that I didn’t know what to write? Did I fear criticism? Was I afraid of ridicule? Was it that I was worried that nobody would be interested in what I had to say?

In truth it was probably a bit of all of these things… see for some reason I have always sought the approval of others, I imagined that I needed permission from other people to do the things that really make me tick.

So what changed? I mean, you are reading my first blog, right… so something must have shifted? The answer is that I was introduced into the world of coaching; or rather I discovered that in the past when I have really felt alive is when I have been working with other people, helping them discover new levels of performance, uncover talents that they never knew they had. Here’s how it happened…

A few years ago I was made redundant. It was not really a shock as there had been rounds of restructuring going on for a number of years. Suddenly I had choices, an opportunity to reflect on whether the work I was doing was truly what lit me up.

I had already started exploring the world of personal development and so I decided that this was an oppotunity to look inside and discover what I really wanted to do. I opted to take some time out for a while so that I could recalibrate, recentre and begin to enjoy life again. It was summer time and I had never had anything longer than a couple of weeks off work, this was great.

My introspection pointed me in the direction of becoming a coach. I realised that what gave me a huge buzz was facilitating elevated performance in other people, this was what really stoked my fire. As I looked back I uncovered many examples of this and just the thought of these moments got my pulse racing, such as coaching other BMX racers, or new team members at work…

As a youngster I used to race BMX bikes. As I moved up to the older age groups I got more involved in coaching the younger kids. We used to hold BMX clinics during the school holidays where we would work with the younger riders, providing inspiration as well as technical coaching to help them improve. There was one young rider in particular who stood out from the rest and over time we became good friends. I used to see Taffy at the track almost every time I went down there to practice. I used to show him things I had learned and as he got older he moved into the “open” age group where I was riding… It was not long before he was competeing at the front with us older riders and he gradually pulled ahead, he became a very tough competitor. Taffy went on to become New York State champion whilst studying at university in the USA. He then returned to Zimbabwe where he trained many of the riders who currently race, including taking some of them to the World Championships as their coach. Sadly, Taffy is no longer with us, but he has most definitely left his legacy in the lives of those riders and their families. RIP my friend.

As I progressed in my career and moved up the ladder, and new recruits joined the organisation, I gained responsibility which included training these new team members. Looking back, this is another fulfilling aspect of the work I did, I loved seeing the newbies learn and blossom as they too progressed.

All this time spent on coaching others and witnessing the dawning of realisation on their faces as they discovered for themselves that they had it in them all along, so I got myself a coach. Along with the challenge and the objectivity (all too often we can’t see something for ourselves but someone objective can see as clear as day) came the accountability – “what’s holding you back?” “Where’s the evidence that any of that is true?” Peeling the onion, stripping away the barriers in my own mind. Just get on with it!

So here it is, having had this idea to start a blog simmering away in my head for a long while, it’s time to get on with it… the first step on my blogging journey… until next time, take care and be the best version of you!