As a coach, I often remind players to focus on what they can control – their effort, their mindset, their response to setbacks. But if I’m honest, this season has reminded me just how important that message is for me too.
One of the biggest learnings from the year has been the power of how I show up. I can’t control how much energy each player brings to training, how focused they are on a given day, or whether the weather plays nice. But I can control the way I plan a session. I can show up ready to adapt, to encourage, to bring energy even on the tougher days.
That’s not to say it always went smoothly. We’re all human – me, the players, the parents. There were times when things didn’t go to plan. Times when I sensed I was bringing a mood into training that I hadn’t quite shaken off. But that’s the beauty of being human too – the ability to catch ourselves, reset, and take a different tack.
This season, I made a conscious effort to notice when something wasn’t working and to be flexible enough to change direction. If a drill fell flat, I adjusted. If the group seemed a bit flat or distracted, we dialled down intensity and did something fun or competitive to lift the mood. When something did work, I made a point of banking it for future use.
Coaching youth rugby is as much about facilitating a learning environment as it is about teaching the game. That environment is shaped heavily by my presence, how I turn up, how I respond, and how I model behaviours I want the players to adopt.
This reflection has left me with a deeper respect for the ripple effect we have as coaches. When I show up with energy, curiosity, and patience, it usually comes back to me through the players. They mirror it. And when I don’t – well, that shows too.
So, one of the big takeaways for me this year is this: a session doesn’t begin when the whistle blows – it begins with me, long before that.
How are you showing up – not just when the players arrive, but in the quiet moments before that?
Patrick Hickman 